Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!
Bob, USC = Unusually Scientifically Challenged
I laughed too, you said you weren't going to do that stuff!

FO, you sound like someone who can't make a decision on which computer to buy because the one you're looking at will be out of date next week. That ain't gonna change in any technology these days.
I'm not even to that point yet!
I advise anyone new (and Tom got the same advice), the normal progression is that first you get the HT (= Handheld = 'walkie-talkie') for local communication bands -> any one of the ones in WW's pic (I'd get Kenwood for the most bang for the buck). You can use it as is. After you find a niche for it and LEARN how to use it...
and get fined and go to jail? thanks!
You can get a bigger antenna for your car for more reception.
looks like it's got a big one already!
Next purchase is a mobile rig (radio) for your car.
why would you need a mobile rig? won't it work without it?
After that if you want to talk across country and around the world, it's up to you and you won't be asking if you need to have it anymore.
Amateur radio is like any tool - use it for as much or as little as you want!!!
Now then, if you want the bang and don't have the patience to learn how to use it, you can certainly hike in a more elemental fashion. No instruction needed for your hikes in case you get lost: wear lots of red or yellow, bring glittery things or mirrors for the helicopters, and don't skimp on water and things that will keep you warm.
I got the warm stuff, water, food, mirror (just got a signal mirror!) cardinal and gold attire down. and I don't think I'll get lost as I stay put on well maintained, well established trails. It's that getting bitten by that snake thing that's really got me worried. miles from a trail head, I mean what you're supposed to do is stay put in general, and what? slowly die? lol having a ham at that moment seems priceless. or if I break a leg. same thing, I mean often I am waaaaay off on these trails, alone, miles and miles after mile never seeing hardly anyone. just checking out spot, hams, plbs. etc.

ForestGal, your alum is all yours.... 
I didn't go to SC.
