Heyyyyy, come on now. It really is my dog, Buddy. I'm just glad he's not anywhere near our fireplace when he does it; I can see it now, front page of Mountaineer, "Home explodes in WW, natural gas leak".
Regarding gas: my sister went in to the gas station attendant. Handed him (or her) $5 and said, "I need $5 worth of gas". The attendant f_ _ ted and gave her a receipt.
Sagebrush, if you find it works let me know. I'll pick some up for myself........opps, I mean Buddy.